It’s that time of year where I sit down with my supervisor and I am told how I am doing at my job. It is time for the yearly EVALUATION! I really hate these things. For a time period, I begin to worry about what is on that paper. When in reality, I have had only one bad evaluation. And that was done by a supervisor who, to this day, still does not understand what it is I do (nor does she care to know what it is I do).
I usually score high on my evaluation. Last year, there was one area that I did not score so high: attitude. It was explained to me that I did not do well in this area for two reasons. The first was my attitude toward my job. The second was my attitude around others.
Over the last year, I have reflected (okay…obsessed) on this one aspect of my evaluation. Let’s take a look at the two pieces. The first one being my attitude toward my job. I will admitted in 2010 I did not have the best attitude toward my job. I was very burned out and over whelmed. I had been doing the same thing for seven years. I felt stagnant in what I was doing. I felt there was no growth professionally. Two years prior to that I began to state I was feeling the beginning of burn out. I spoke to my supervisor that I needed a change. The change did not come and as a result I got burned out. Now, I know I have control of my attitude and therefore worked this year to change that aspect. I think I have done much better this past year. We will see.
Now, on to my attitude toward others. Here is where I spent my time thinking. The day of my evaluation, I was given general statements (not specific examples). I was told that some directors in the division did not know how to take me, I was not real friendly, and I had not developed relationships with other people in the division. Over the year I have reflected on this and here is what I have come up with.
I do not prescribe to what is known as “southern hospitality” which means I am nice to your face but as soon as your back is turned my true feelings about you comes out. We have way too much of that in our division. Wow, just sitting here typing a list of names is flying through my head who I consider to be fake about their opinion of others. You see, in the south I have learned you can talk about people as badly as you like as long as you end it with, “bless their hearts.” By ending with that one line you are allowed to stay in good christian status.That is SO christian!
People know how I feel about them up front. I do not hide it. Nor am I nice and act as your best friend while we are in the same room and then verbally slam you once you are out of the range of hearing my voice. However, I will work with just about anyone. Just because I do not care for you as a person does not mean we can not work together on a project. It’s just the way that I am.
I was told I had not built relationships with others within the division. And this is true. However, I do not believe the relationships I need to build in order to be successful in my job lie primarily within the division I work. I have forged very strong and positive relationship with others outside of the division. These relationships are with others who help to make my department successful and I help to strengthen their areas. Overtime, I built bridges with other departments and both have benefited. The bonus to this is I truly enjoy working with these individuals. They are fun to work with and I know in other setting they are supportive of my areas and I am supportive of theirs. It is true, I have not built relationships with the typical individuals that people do in my division. But I have built relationships with others at work; a bridge now spans where hostility or only tolerance once existed.
It’s report card time at work. We will see what my grade is soon enough.
